She wears deception
like a second skin,
fearful of what could happen to her soul
if her secrets are peeled back.



‘But you seem fine!’
That is because you do not witness the hours
I devote to keeping myself intact.
What a shame, that I crumble in silence.
What a shame, that no one will learn from my mistakes.
Am I indefinitely lost until further notice?
Must I remain invisible
until they find my blood in the water?

I am on the brink of something I cannot take back.
Walking down the plank,
above a world that falls apart.
Above my world that falls apart.
When I tell you I am not okay,
believe me.
Do not say I kept quiet
when my screams have been wasted on deaf ears.
If there is grace in starting over,
pray I am here a day longer to savor it.
Tomorrow is an open door
that seems too far away for right now.

Gone are the glory days I cannot remember.
They have been recycled and crumpled into a haze
that evades my memory.
Maybe reverie can save me
before the bad days get here first.

Give me a reason to outlast this, please.
I have run out of my own.


Sleeping beside someone I thought I knew,
only to be stunned by buried words and unfamiliar silences.
Walking down a path with someone who prefers to run.
Learning to run,
only to discover they have changed their pace
without thinking to tell me.

Hatred under their breath.
Slammed doors behind angry footsteps.
Hearing them yell for the first time
after believing they were soft-spoken.
Welcomed by their family as a newlywed,
pushed away from them years later.

Being so swept away by the wedding
that the marriage brings me to my knees.